Valentine’s Day Truth Bombs

Note: This was a little ditty I served up in 2017 about Valentine’s Day and some truth bombs regarding what is and what isn’t BS along the way (OK, it’s mostly crap but there are some deeper lessons that are bigger than a Hallmark generated fake holiday in the middle the frozen hell of winter). This piece was very well received at the time. Not to toot my own horn but…okay,* beep beep*.

It’s still a good message so I decided it was a good time to bring it back out of mothballs. I mean, seeing it’s like, almost Valentine’s Day and stuff.

Anyway, here it is, I hope you get something out of it, regardless of how you are spending Valentine’s Day this year. Remember that, despite any and all messages that say otherwise, relationship status does not define anyone’s worth, yours or mine, on February 14 or any other day.

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Ahhh….Valentine’s Day.

If I could literally disappear from the planet for 24 hours a year of my choosing it would be Valentine’s Day. It’s just one of those days that can make you feel awful all around. It really shouldn’t but…yeah.

But I’m not sure what is worse.

To be single and “forever alone”, having no one to spend the day with.

To be single and longing for someone who is with another.

To be in a relationship and be separated from your significant other either by distance or circumstance.

To be in a relationship that is built on bullshit and trying to convince yourself that you are spending a precious moment with a “special someone.”

Jesus Christ, just stop.

With the stupid jewelry, flowers, chocolate, whatever the hell else you have going on.

It’s like we are told we are worthless unless we have someone and then if we do we essentially have to bribe them to stay with us. That is certainly the world Madison Avenue is trying to sell you.

And we buy it up like lemmings. To the tune of well over $100 per person every year. That some of us may or may not be able to afford. To effectively bribe our significant other to not pursue the guy in her office that looks at her in a way you haven’t in 20 years. That is the message, pay up or you’re not worth it. Pay up before someone else does.

Well, I have something I would like to say about that.

Fuck that noise.

That is not what true love is about. It never has been. Never will be.

Love is a spiritual thing, man. It’s when two people click at a higher level. It’s not something to be bought and paid for. Love is built. Love is a choice. Love is created.

Love is connection between spirits.

Love is making memories and creating moments.

Love is carrying each other in times of need.

Love is savoring the good, fighting through the bad, and everything in between.

Love is seeing their beauty when they are at their worst.

Love is celebrating when they are at their best.

Love is saying “you are enough and everything that I ever want”

Love is the giving of all of yourself, all the good, all the darkness, everything and the trusting that the fragile parts won’t be tossed away.

Love is EVERY DAY. EVERY HOUR. EVERY MINUTE.

Love is not a dozen roses a few times a year. Or a diamond bracelet. Or a dream vacation.

Not saying they’re not beautiful, but the meaning behind them is so, so much more important. The meaning is what lasts.

Flowers die.

Vacations end.

But meaning, yes you can get just as much meaning from the simplest of gifts. It’s not the money that matters. It’s heart. It’s spirit. It’s making your other feel safe and blessed and like the most important person in the world to you.

Love is not an ultimatum.

Love is not a price.

Love is not simply a band aid to make you feel good at the moment.

Love is not a budget.

Love is not society’s rules.

Love is not giving simply to get.

Love is not a trophy or an award. Love is not comparing what you have to what someone else may or may not.

Love is on your terms, your time, nobody else’s.

Oh, you’re alone this day? Well don’t fret it. It’s an opportunity to work on the most important thing you can do. And the one thing you have to do before you can truly love others.

Love yourself.

Yeah, that’s what I said.

Get your butt out of bed, make yourself a nice cup of coffee and go look in the mirror. Don’t look at the bedhead, or the lack of makeup, or the bags under your eyes. See past the imperfections. Look straight through yourself, to your soul. It’s there I promise.

Take a look deep, and tell yourself, with meaning, and heart, and conviction:

“You are enough. You are a badass. I freaking love you, man.”

Repeat it over and over. I don’t care how stupid it sounds, no one’s watching anyway. Say it like you believe it. And you eventually will.

Now go take yourself and do something special. It doesn’t have to be expensive. Heck, if your broke go take a walk in nature, life will feel so much better. Think about what does make you great, and don’t worry a bit if anyone agrees with you. It’s all about you, and giving yourself what you need.

And always remember, EVERY DAY. If you’re single, married, taken, confused, whatever. ALWAYS remember:

You are LOVE

You are LOVED

You are ENOUGH.

Now forget about the crap being slung at you, remember that it’s another day your butt made it out of bed. That in itself is always a blessing. Go enjoy the hell out of it, OK?

I invite you to join the Misfits, Wanderers, and the Rest of Us Community and if you feel pulled to donate, I certainly will not say no!