The Children Are Watching

Note: Guess I actually wrote this a couple years back after everyone got in a huffle about the J lo/ Shakira halftime show at the Super Bowl. I didn’t remember that part until someone brought it to my attention. Most of this was important well before that, and still is in play now. Maybe more so as we start to see a world where books are being banned a lot more and where Nazis are showing up more freely unquestioned. Scares the shit out of me, just saying. If it doesn’t bother you, I don’t know what to tell you.

“The children are watching”

Yup, they’re watching how you handle (or don’t handle) your triggers, and learning accordingly.

Which is 1000000000x more important than whatever thing you’re being triggered by in the moment.

The outrage fades, the lessons are forever.

Let the insta-rage go, take a breath, show your kiddos how to process your feelings. Big boy and big girl words. Let them learn where your boundaries are, and why.

Let them tell you what they’re feeling without freaking out or judging their feelings. If you can’t do this, learn how to do this.

Even after you’ve blocked me because you don’t like my message, go learn anyway.

Everything is a teachable moment. Give them a chance to learn through love, and not have to bottle up in shame. Have we not learned that this leads to some fucked up shit? Aren’t we tired of fucked up shit yet?

I don’t care how many times you all ignore this, I’m gonna keep coming atcha with it. Because it’s far more important than what the news or your Twitter feed tell you is the best flavor of outrage to match your outfit.

PS- didn’t see the halftime show, don’t care.

Apparently everyone else does though. Cool.

(Edit-what follows is the intro I added when I shared this into my group -yup, plug- and I feel like I need to add it, because kinda my why)

Partly because I like starting trouble, mostly because I see a pattern of people getting so lost in their triggers that they can’t see that instead of protecting their kiddos, their giving the message that they can’t come to their parents for certain things and instead have to process their stuff via shame. Nothing good comes from this.

For instance the halftime show and how some parents are worked up over how risque or whatever it was. “THE CHILDREN!” I am envisioning a boy working through his feelings over what he is seeing, what he may be feeling.

Boy stuff.

Okay, what the hell do I do with all this? They see mom and dad all butthurt and raging to everyone they talk to and they know “I can’t go to them, they can’t understand”.

Fair or not, this is what the kid may see. So he’s trying to figure it out through their peers (who know less than he does probably), through what he sees on TV (do I even need to go there?) and trying to use that to guide him. It’s awkward enough as it is, and they’re not learning things like how to communicate, healthy boundaries, etc.

If he’s lucky he becomes me, where it took alcohol to dull the shame enough for me to come out of my shell, but I still learned shitty boundaries and paid the price.

It could also be worse, where they either learn to take liberties they aren’t entitled to, or they struggle and start looking in place like incel communities (which teach some scary AF stuff).

Yeah, I know I’m taking things down a twisted rabbit hole. There are also other rabbit holes, I just felt this one. My point is if we learn to get past our triggers, handle what we have to in order to navigate our own feelings in a healthy way (which can happen regardless of what someone feels about this or anything else) so that we can be open and present for our kids to help them learn what we all want them to, and not (unintentionally) something darker.

Everything has a rabbit hole effect whether or not we see it. Everything. That’s my why for going here.

Disagree if you want, but do so respectfully.

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Writer. Guide. Mentor. Visionary. Voice. Presence. Geeks out over MCU, Star Wars, baseball, and randomness. Question everything except your worth.

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Rich Levesque

Rich Levesque

Writer. Guide. Mentor. Visionary. Voice. Presence. Geeks out over MCU, Star Wars, baseball, and randomness. Question everything except your worth.

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