Take Down the Fortress

Every fortress falls
It is not the end
It ain’t if you fall
But how you rise that says who you really are
So get up and come through
If ever your fortress caves
You’re always safe -Queens of the Stone Age, Fortress

It’s okay to be pissed and feel hurt. It’s okay to feel frustration over never being enough for some, the ones for whom you were supposed to be, and those that you wish would be. But let that shit stay in their world. NEVER accept it as your own. Accept that you can’t control what they see. But also accept that their filters, experiences, beliefs, and other assorted bullshit were not, are not, and will never be yours to carry.

If you did believe them, it’s your role to learn how to untangle and disbelieve that bullshit. This may take help, seek what you need but also know that it’s ultimately your hero journey to unlearn that shit. It can’t be dependent on a magic pill, or what anyone on the outside can do. It can’t be based on any hope of others shifting their beliefs or new people saying the magic words to you. It has to be based on you rebuilding your own foundation so that it is solid and can be rebuilt no matter what gets dropped on it.

Don’t build a fortress, it will keep them out but it will also keep out those who can love you. Build a beautiful, creative house that’s filled with your story and your dreams but don’t be so dependent upon it that you can’t redesign it when it’s necessary. Because it may be destroyed from time to time, but it gets to be an opportunity to build something even more beautiful. The fear voice will want to build an unbreakable fortress, but the fortress holds you back just as much as it protects. Maybe even more so. Often, that which you’re trying to keep out will get to it anyway. So might as well build the house you want and enjoy it for as long as it exists.